Thinking in form of “either – or” does not work. It is a dilemma and the structure of stress, anxiety and poor decision-making. We flip an inner unresourceful future picture – as if it is now… and then scare ourselves.
We lock ourselves as if there were only those two moments in time, which is a fallacy. It is a thinking mistake that links to feeling bad. No way in – no way out. — In life there is no “either-or” but there is movement, whether we want it or not.
The solution is to remind ourselves to think and speak with the verbs that describe moving through time. For example: I am learning… I am moving toward… I am noticing more and more… Check it out. It softens the dilemma and makes you part of things. Speak in positive directions always moving forward.